lqb2weekly #206 (9 apr 2025) - where are the men call

Apr 09, 2025

hey,

on monday, a friend and i are co-hosting a conversation based on some on-going thinking and dialogue. my cutie also got in on the conversation and contributed some poetic words, some of which i include below.

Monday, April 14, 2025 from 4:30-6 ET | RSVP to get zoom info

Join Danielle Coates-Connor and Lawrence Barriner II in a conversation “Where Are the Men,” including their pieces in Crush Life Manifesto, Fall 2024 v2. Attendees are invited to look at the text in advance and come to the conversation with their own perspectives, questions, and observations. There will be whole group and small group activities to connect and engage together.
Here is the reading material. We will focus on pages 7-14. You may enjoy bonus reads in the pdf that invite you deeper into Crush Life Manifesto.

These writings call for a reimagining of masculinity rooted in nurturance, tenderness, and care, challenging the dominance and detachment enforced by white supremacy and patriarchy. It argues that healing and transformation require men to build their capacity for emotional presence, accountability, and reciprocal connection in community. The collective vision invites men into a deeper practice of belonging, where love and responsibility are shared.

i’m getting this one out quick so here’s some quick hits and a bit of what i’ve consumed since the end of march. i’m keeping this one light(ish) on commentary about this moment but there’s more coming next newsletter for sure.

from my friend bernice: we’re in a year of the snake. what is snake wisdom? one from her: “small deliberate strikes.” pay attention. focus. give it everything you’ve got when you do.
check this lovely song from my cutie’s dad, joel. everything’s gonna be alright. the key parts of it though are about the action that makes the hope real. holding on tight to each other, being able to count on each other.
some economists and historians have said america has been in its decline/collapse for possibly 10 years already. i tend to agree. i think we are in it. and it is wild. but one thing that i keep falling for and i’m trying to stop is the idea that big chunk of trump’s base will turn against him because of Y thing he’s done that will now hurt them. i think what’s historically more likely is that things will cause negative impact and he (his admin) will find a way to blame everyone but himself for it.
if you know me IRL (or if you’ve been around on this newsletter for a while), you prolly know i have a long-standing campaign to put spring in its place. i don’t want people to hate spring, but i DO want people to be real about it. and last week i had a small but powerful insight. people really LOVE to LOVE spring… except for the parts they don’t like. those things, somehow, aren’t spring. except they are spring. when we get nice days, it’s like “wow spring is so great and finally here.” but then we get a nasty day and it’s “man, winter sucks, i can’t wait until spring really gets here.” but… the thing we’re experiencing IS spring. this. this right here. this is spring. it’s not coming. we’re not still in winter. THIS is spring. this part that you don’t like is spring. what’s my point? just tryna be with reality as it is, ya know? idk. sue me.
my old housemate, alex baskin, has a new book of poetry out. check it!
my friends at revival road farm put out their 2025 Spring Equinox Newsletter. it’s lovely.

lastly, jonathan tarleton, an old friend, had his book come out!

I am very excited to let you know (if you have not yet caught some of my shameless self promotion) that my book Homes for Living: The Fight for Social Housing and a New American Commons is available now wherever books are sold from Beacon Press. I'll be in Cambridge on May 13 at Porter Square Books.
But, what is this book, you may ask? I've been following the stories at the core of Homes for Living for a little over a decade now. It delves into community-splitting fights among longtime residents of two social housing co-ops in Brooklyn and Manhattan as they lock horns over whether to maintain the rules that have kept their homes affordable for decades or to cash out at great personal profit. At a time when the American Dream of homeownership has fast become an American Delusion, I map the personal histories of these residents atop the larger story of our housing crisis, exploring housing as a public good, movements for tenant rights and Indigenous sovereignty, and questions of race and class to lay bare competing visions of what ownership means, what homes are for, and what neighbors owe each other.
Kind reviewers have called it a "new classic of American urban and oral history," "a wild roller coaster ride," "an engrossing feat of reporting," "a must-read for every citizen and policy-maker," and a "captivating debut."
Check out events near you.

on to the things!

(!!) pick of the pack

writing

some things i’ve written since the last newsletter:

n/a but stay tuned for a post about healing (preview: you don’t have to heal every hurt you’ve ever had to change your relationship to being hurt)

quotes

there is nothing new under the sun. also, full transparency, many of these quotes come from james clear’s 3-2-1 newsletter (which i love).

It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
— Elizabeth Stone, English teacher on how becoming a parent changes you

Take all the energy you spend on…
- worrying about the past
- worrying about the future
- worrying about what others think
- worrying about if you might fail
… and channel that energy into one useful action within your control.
— James Clear

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. — John Lubbock